Soul Guardian Gifts

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

Bumble Bee

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Biodiversity

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

Dentist Training School.

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

The proper way to wear your mask

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

Beware of the Lawn

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'I've been tagged by a whaling commission, some environment people, a naval research team, a fishing group,some zoologists...'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

Some people save stamps or coins. I save whales.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Fish Food