Sos Signaler Humorist Pillows

"Any ideas? I'm terrible with cursive writing."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Push for Disco...

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Nothing on the sign says I have to have a person with me.'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"Can't you fellas read the sign? I can't let you wheel him in here."

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

'Under this blubber, pal, there are abs and muscle you wouldn't believe!'

Stand up comedians from outer space.

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

Cook complaining to milkman

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'