Sos Sender Gifts

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

Castaway uses a PC instead of a bottle.

I can't smile without you...

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

~ S.O.S.

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

Post early for Christmas 2010.

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

Studies show that for every hour of time-zone shift, it takes three days to fully reestablish your circadian rhythm. Can't do the math? Here are some handy clues you may have jet-lag!

"Along with the invitations, announcements, and save-the-date cards, I'd like some 'I told you so' cards for people who thought I'd never get married."

'If they install word recognition software in my texting program, I wouldn't have to know how to spell or read. Ain't technology great?'

Christmas postie!

Cards For Cats.

'Between us we've got 2000 Facebook friends, but we only know one person well enough to send us a Christmas card.'

"We sent a message to any extraterrestrial beings in deep space. It was picked up by an observatory in Great Britain. They didn't understand it."

'Don't forget your p.s.'

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

Plane Rescue

Castaway can't remembers how to write S.O.S.

I have 1035 Facebook friends. Do I have to send each one a holiday card?

'If the Lord knows each time a sparrow falls to earth, it seems like a Minister of the Gospel could at least remember to mail a few Christmas cards.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, 'Well, that's enough postage, but just barely.'

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

Semaphore Problems

"T-E-X-T M-E."

'See, there are thousands of letters, all starting with 'Dear Santa'... Aren't Humans strange?'

I don't need a cell phone...I'm going to text message you in the alphabet soup!

'Airmail.'

Monk marooned on desert island.