Sophisticated Style Admirer T-Shirts

"The crude oil is on the left, and the refined oil is on the right."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

New Shoes.

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

The Return Of The Minipants

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

Bald Man Overcomb

Trendies, INC

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

It bag and no knickers!

Georgian head-dress

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Man in a Tuxedo

Cattlemans Saloon.

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"If they're already killing you, you know they're the right fit."

SELECTIONS FROM THE "VICTOR'S SECRET" CATALOGUE

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

"If they fit, we can return them."

'This is me at my most masculine.'

"It's a midriff warmer."

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'