Songwriting Sage Gifts

'Oliver's a very sensitive singer-songwriter.'

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"I've got rhythm, music, my girl - check. But somehow I still want more."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Lennon and McCartney.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

George Michael

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"This next one's another oldie."

Lady of the bath...

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

Michael Jackson

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Guitar Man.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Bryan Ferry

New music conference

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."