Sonata Gifts

Maestro

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Concert Pianist.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'