Sommelier Dreamer Gifts

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Concert Pianist.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"We'll always have Paris..."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'