Sommelier Dreamer Gifts

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Concert Pianist.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"We'll always have Paris..."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'