Someone With A Dark Sense Of Humor Pillows

'...Now will you admit you have a drink-problem?!'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Another day at work would be one too many...

Out To Lurch

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Dead Funny

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Housekeeping?!"

End the Winter Blues

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

The practical psychopath

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Zombies.