Someone With A Dark Sense Of Humor Pillows

'...Now will you admit you have a drink-problem?!'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Out To Lurch

Dead Funny

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Housekeeping?!"

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

The practical psychopath

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

End the Winter Blues

MUSHROOM MASACRE.