Solo Strategist Pillows

"Thanks for the invite, but I prefer to collaborate by myself."

"You may be wondering why I called this staff meeting."

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Managing a major project in these challenging times requires IMAGINATION, the FIRST thing I'd like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

Dating the efficiency expert.

'Red nine on the black ten.' 'Thanks.'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'It's a silent protest.'

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

A man with a rake on a desert island

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'

"I married for contrast."

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

'Do you have to bring your work home with you?'

Solo North pole expedition - 'Bugger!'

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'