Solitary Tech User Gifts

Cable Bill.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

In the Guru District

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Claus 2.0

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Evolution.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Gen-Next Library

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."