Solar System Sage T-Shirts

These planets of mine are so competitive! They each claim to be the best. Jupiter boasts about being more massive than all others combined. With his flashy "ice" jewelry, Saturn thinks he has the most style. And Mercury says he's the most politically powerful because he's "in the inner circle." Pluto seems aloof --- Is he still sulking about being demoted from a planet? No, he was like that before --- He's always been pretty distant.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

One way only.

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

'I say we report the snow and ice and just leave it at that.'

"Hunters turned philosophers"

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

Soon The Moon Will Have Cellphone Reception Better Than That One Part Of Your Commute

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

Jules Henri Poincare

"I hope it's not contagious."

Scientist looking down a microscope is being looked down a microscope by god.

"What we originally thought was a space-time wormhole, turned out to be a close-up of a 3/8 inch machine bolt."

"What is the speed of dark?"

"I'm going to call it zero."

Early emojis