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Golf Guru

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

It can be taken up at any age....

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

A fortune cookie for investors.

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"...And I don't want any resentments just because someone hits below the belt..."

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

China gets capitalistic in its own way...: 'The Tao is up!'