Software Strategist Gifts

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

'Computer editing software with an obnoxious ego.' 'Look, you really don't want to say that, do you?'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

Oog has invented the organization chart.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

'You'll learn that our corporate structure is a bit unconventional.'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Eye Off the Ball

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"I worked on an early version of the Cloud. I call it the Fog because it never got off the ground."

Virtual Reality Shop. I think our business here will expand as actual reality becomes more and more unbelievable.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

The Atomium Bombs

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

"It seems our new computer system is allowing us to implement idiotic ideas ten times faster than we've previously been able to!"

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

Our founder and Our founders lawyer.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Darling - are you finding these waiters rather over-attentive?'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

"Call it wishful thinking, but I don't think this peace will last. . . ."

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

George Smith Patton

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."