Technology Strategist Gifts

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

In the Guru District

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'