Software Séance Pillows

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Computer Bore

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

Driverless cars rage.

I.T. Fear

Where was I?

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Hardware and software

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Early Programmers.

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Man feeding his computer money.

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Cloud Computing.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Do you want to save changes?"

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

"Did you have a cat?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"