Softball All-star T-Shirts

Boss with PROFITS chart, going down: 'We need to stop hiring people on how well they play softball!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Football team discussions.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'The game went into extra innings.'

"That was two what?"

"Your being on the company softball team gives me the opportunity to trade you."

Gigantic Titan Inc personnel: 'We have plenty of computer nerds! What we need is jocks to make our softball team more competitive!'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'Seeking female companion, who can handle a fungo bat...'

'Ouch! I thought this was supposed to be 'softball'?'

Influences.

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'Wait ... Nobody brought a ball? Now what are we going to do for all eternity?'

"Most unusual stance: lefty batting backwards."

"Miss Lopez said she wanted the best student in class to stand up and read their English essay. Then she asked me to do it!"

And with this turn of events, Scooter and Huck began to consider other forms of recreation... softball, perhaps.

Ace Investments - Tonight: financial advisors' softball league - small caps vs. big caps

The Adventures of Morton - Mother.