Soft Parenting Advocate T-Shirts

"I like Dad's parenting techniques."

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Mobile phone damage to children.

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

Modern Baby Mobiles

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

'You've got to keep it straight. With Mom it's burping, with Dad it's running in the house.'

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

"What changed? I once said a bad word when I was real little, and everyone laughed!"

Kids, kids. Did you forget it was Mother's Day again?

'But darling, instinct only gets you so far in life: You need to go to school as well...'

"Don't use that howl language with me!"

Breast Feeding in Public

'Now that's what I call a sneeze!'

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

"Mommm! I know you said ''no,' but it wasn't your usual firm 'no' that I admire and respect so much!"

The Toddler's Conscience

'I've adult proofed the computer.'

"Use a fork."

'I don't worry when he calls from the door way or the front steps - only when he starts heading this way.'