Soft Parenting Advocate T-Shirts

"I like Dad's parenting techniques."

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

Mobile phone damage to children.

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

"What changed? I once said a bad word when I was real little, and everyone laughed!"

Kids, kids. Did you forget it was Mother's Day again?

'You've got to keep it straight. With Mom it's burping, with Dad it's running in the house.'

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

"Don't use that howl language with me!"

'But darling, instinct only gets you so far in life: You need to go to school as well...'

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"Mommm! I know you said ''no,' but it wasn't your usual firm 'no' that I admire and respect so much!"

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

'Now that's what I call a sneeze!'

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

Dad doesn't initiate much legislation, but he uses his veto power a lot.

'I've adult proofed the computer.'

The Toddler's Conscience

"Use a fork."