Soda Spritzer Pillows

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"We won!"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

'Qool - when the thirst come first.'

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"And could I have a small diet soda please."

Kid to pop vendor: 'Are you fizz Ed?'

Man out of order like his coffee machine

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda