Socratic Thinker Pillows

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

"You know, Socrates said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living,' however, in your case, Edwin, it might be a blessing."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

The First Fire Stick

When Engineers Crack.

Reverse psychology

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Hey germ, pick on someone your own size."

'Johnson, if you're going to have negative thoughts, I suggest you get rid of that thought balloon!'

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Executive Towers: Sorry, No Room Left At The Top!

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Picking the right ethnicity of your nanny is the single-hardest part of being a mother these days."

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'