Socially Overwhelmed Gifts

"I've enjoyed about as much of this as I can stand."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Nervous at a party.

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

'But what if the author doesn't want to meet us?'

Paper aeroplane: 'Get on with your work.'

"This was the closest I could get to being invisible."

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

Arrival in the New World was a stressful time for the pilgrims on the Wallflower.

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"Oh, the pain I can take—it's the awkward silence between conversations that's torture."

"Is it the same for you? Every time I meet someone new I start to feel unwanted."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"Yipes! Grownups!!"

Now playing... everything you said at the party.

"Pack your bags and cancel your plans. The neighbors invited us to dinner and I told them we'd be out of town."

'I'm sure we haven't met. I use a telephoto lens.'

In the embarrassment cemetery

Another way to keep an empty seat beside you on the train.

'Sorry, I never know what to do with my hands in social situations.'

'Hello... fear of greeting people at holiday seasons hotline.'

"'The party' is our most difficult escape room—you have one hour to get out of a room full of extroverts."

'Remember, our hosts are from a swing state, so no political babble or they may snap!'

Out of my comfort zone

Sometimes I feel like a woman trapped in man's idea of a woman's body.

"Well, aren't you an eager beaver."

"Now let's all introduce... ourselves."

"Beyond the edge pieces, I have commitment issues."