Socialist Scholar Gifts

Karl Marx

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Voltaire

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Police Statetion

Bearded Leftie.

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

All-Purpose Obamatoon

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

Monkey Business College

Diversity Does Not Include Class

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

Jeremy Corbyn in the soup

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

Crime - Punishment

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

Precisely Inprecise

..anarchists, terrorists, radicals and looters will tear down our great country

'This is Dr Grumbacher, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Philology. Perhaps he could tell you the difference between an adverb and an adjective.'

Atilla the Hun, sadly neglected by historians for his progressive approach to personnel management.

"Our interview with the author of the best-selling book, 'how I never paid taxes', has been postponed 5 to 10 years."

Emile Durkheim

Nikolay Chernyshevsky

'45 and never been divorced? What's wrong with him?'

The Big Revelation about Trump Is Not in Mary's Book

Paul Beatty

Marriage

Since Greg was accepted by Mensa, he'd rather not say anything than say something incorrect.