Social Strategizer Gifts

Another way to keep an empty seat beside you on the train.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Likes: $2.

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

"#Win!"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

Technology and Love

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

'Have your people facebook my people.'

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"He's a psychopath with megalomanic tendencies...I like that in a candidate!"

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

"I see you had the foresight to like us on facebook."

The Web is mightier than the sword.