Social Strategists Gifts

'Before we start our bridge game, Emily will sing the National Anthem.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"What we used to refer to as 'a social life'."

"I suppose the polite thing to do would be to invite her over..."

'Now remember, if they start showing their home movies, you go into your cardiac arrest act.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

'Have your people facebook my people.'

"Do you believe the world is all an illusion?" "I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon." "Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet 'It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies.' If the entire hive mind of Earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true." "I hope not. I'd hate for you to end

Eye Off the Ball

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

"The great resignation is being fueled by the desire to brag about quitting one's job on LinkedIn."

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

"Call it wishful thinking, but I don't think this peace will last. . . ."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'His social skills have improved since he lost his job in banking.'