Social Skill Dodger Pillows

"Most people see mobile phones as a great way of talking to people wherever they are."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"Are you talking to me?"

"No, you're not getting too old for school."

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

"This is crazy! Why can't they give us one e-reader with all our school textbooks already on it? That way...I can ignore just one book instead of this whole stack!"

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

"I just feel like it's important NOT to make good eye contact when communicating."

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

'You rate very high in everything, except, of course, people skills.'

"Just you wait 'till your father comes home!"

Assertiveness Training Institute: 'What are you looking at?'

Cone of Silence

"I'm looking for something that will keep people away from me on the subway."

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"I know that you haven't done much face to face work recently....But whatever they said on your 'refresher' course about the need to maintain eye contact....You are allowed to blink!"

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

"I've never been in there. Most of my down-time is spent in the Principal's office."

"I didn't make the Dean's list, but I made the Principal's list."

"He needs to work on his people skills."

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"

"Would you prefer me to hover over you silently or awkwardly try to make small talk?"

"Things might run smoother, Johnson, if you take the 'cuss' out of customer."

"Sorry, Cruz, I flunked my history test...and now I'm grounded."