Social Situation Strategists Pillows

Some people just don't know when to leave.

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

'You'll learn that our corporate structure is a bit unconventional.'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

'His social skills have improved since he lost his job in banking.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

'Oh hey Rhonda, whatcha doin?'

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

Why are you here?

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

"I wish I'd been invited to all these parties before I discovered the joys of staying in."

"Okay, so we all agree to support your father's run for office even though his ideas are bats**t crazy."

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

Twig, do you

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

"I just feel like it's important NOT to make good eye contact when communicating."

"What we used to refer to as 'a social life'."

Long time no see, Darlene. That was by design. I've booked you under mad, passionate midlife crisis fling with a guy my family and friends would disapprove of. That's scheduled for March 2019 - February 2020. But if you say anything dumb between now and then that renders you unattractive, I'll have to replace you. It'd be tough to vet a sub at this late a date. I don't know the meaning of the word dumb ... tough, but not impossible.

"I'm going to write you a prescription for new friends."