Social Situation Strategist Pillows

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

'Have your people facebook my people.'

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

'His social skills have improved since he lost his job in banking.'

Capitalism and the Earth

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Oh hey Rhonda, whatcha doin?'

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

Why are you here?

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

"Okay, so we all agree to support your father's run for office even though his ideas are bats**t crazy."

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

Twig, do you

"I wish I'd been invited to all these parties before I discovered the joys of staying in."

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

Long time no see, Darlene. That was by design. I've booked you under mad, passionate midlife crisis fling with a guy my family and friends would disapprove of. That's scheduled for March 2019 - February 2020. But if you say anything dumb between now and then that renders you unattractive, I'll have to replace you. It'd be tough to vet a sub at this late a date. I don't know the meaning of the word dumb ... tough, but not impossible.

"I just feel like it's important NOT to make good eye contact when communicating."

"I'm going to write you a prescription for new friends."

'Let's find anothr cafe - I'm not eating in any restaurant that outranks me'

"What we used to refer to as 'a social life'."