Social Situation Analyst T-Shirts

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

World Financial Mafia

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

Social Welfare next!

How long have you let this unhealthy obsession with family and friends interfere with your celebrity-watching?

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

"It's early days but the new variant does seem a lot less aggressive!"

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

'This is you hotel. . . it has no TV, but every room is equipped with CCTV.'

'I can't even watch football on TV. When they go into a huddle I'm sure they're talking about me.'

Violence in Mexico

"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

'See? THAT'S globalization!'

"Once upon a time there was a thing called social security..."

"It's amazing how the captures one's true, inner self."

Man giving a writer an honest and insulting appraisal of his article.

"Polar? Or simply slow to warm."

I want to die! Where is everyone? You panic every birthday! Why do I put myself through this?

Men telling stories

"Maybe quarantine was better?!!!"

'We were having a debate on the separation of church and state when I pointed out that it's not constitutional to care for the poor and sick, but is church doctrine. . .'

Coronavirus and family economy

"I was fired everywhere because I have no manners. Give me some money, you b*@£%d!"

"Up next we interview the big lottery winner, but first, let's tamp down your envy and greed by looking all the lives totally devastated by winning the lottery."

"So ... is the Pope Catholic?"

Learning to read body language, lesson one: 'Leave me alone!'

"I love our lunches out there, but I always get the feeling that we're being watched."

'Oi! There's a pecking order around here, you know.'