Social Security Officer T-Shirts

'No we do not pay in advance.'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'You know too much,'

Airport Security.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

TSA Noah

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

The Scanner Of Love.

Time Out For Teddy

Scarecrows guarding a field

"I spy with my little eye…"

Updated Stories. The Wicked Witch Of The West Tries A New Tactic To Get The Ruby Slippers. Security Checkpoint. Remove your shoes, please.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Pre-Old Blues

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"I don't care if Sales thinks you're a superhero, the cape violates the dress code and the mask is a security violation."

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"