Social Security Expert Gifts

'It's an idea whose time has come! -- Variable-rate Social Security!'

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

Pre-Old Blues

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

'Admit it,Oliver-you're getting old.'

'I see the truth-in-advertising-people got wind of the proposed privatising...'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

"Glen is a one-issue voter....medicare and social security solvency."

Walk the dog.

'I had a larger sample for you but I had trouble getting the lid back on. . .'

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

"You're right, Obamacare doesn't cover everything."

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

$10 a step at the doctor's office.

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

'Oh, great, my insurance agent. I was just texting you.'

Baby Boomers vote

'Live fast - Die young.'

Retirement Suddenly Feels Kind of Moot

RIP Retirement In Peace

"If you're so good, why are you still working?"

"Words from the wise, Grandson, live to be 100, but never get sick, old or retire!"

"You're on standby if Mr. Benny's insurance company doesn't give us a last-minute approval."

"I'm sorry, congressman, but Mrs. Grebbish gets a bit testy when somebody proposes to mess with her social security and medicare...."

"He has sticker shock form his health care costs."

Office of Social Insecurity.

Chasing Pensions

Boomers.

Do you have health insurance ?

'What the . . . I'm only insured for cardboard boxes!'

The Bad News: Fred just signed away his claim. The Good News: The insurance adjuster just qualified for a bonus.

"This says the median age for Hispanics in the United States is 27...the median age for all the other groups is much higher."

"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"