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Social Distancing Common Sense

"You know, there are other emojis."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"I just wish the Earth was as beautiful to live on as it is to look at... It's right behind me, isn't it?"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Paper or plastic?"

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

"Make it look like an accident"

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

"Religion, politics, sex...in this part of the world every cartoonist is free to draw whatever he wants!"

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

'Actually, we don't like the term 'cannibal', we prefer to be called 'homovores'.'

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

Man asking what is a stall at the opera