Social Recluse Pillows

'You'll have to excuse Gerald. He's not so much the party animal these days.'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"I can do whatever I want. It's a free country. Well, at least for the time being."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"I beg to differ."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"He spends 24/7 behind that computer of his. I guess he lives in a fishbowl, too."

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

"Thank God! Show me the path down. I've been stuck here 15 years."

I wish I could experience a normal, social interaction...

'After considering the pros and cons of commuting, I've decided the only sane thing to do is live in my office.'

"I'm going to have to cut your walk short today."

"Hey everybody! Cruz finally got his first friend request!"

'Society of hermits'

Contrarian Society - Entrance at rear of building.

"He's laid up with a bad case of inertia."

"Its getting so bad that I never leave home anymore."

"Social networking lets me be social without actually having to be around other people."

"How long do we have to be together before everyone finally stops asking us when we're having kids?"

'I know living on an abandoned nuclear test site has its advantages - no bugs, no snakes, no univited guests but did it ever occur to you that there's nothing else here either?'