Social Norm Spotters Pillows

"Everyday, we give her 10 karma points for not using her bag to hog the seat beside her and everyday we take 10 away because she feels so smug about it."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

What are YOU looking at!?!?

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

'So unladylike!'

"Hey man, there are certain things called unwritten laws."

'Edgar, I'm thinking of stepping beyond the bounds of good taste.'

'Do you ever have those dreams where you're walking around fully clothed?'

"Baldo, it's an unspoken rule! Guys don't sit next to each other at the movies!"

Scruffy looking man asking whether one should take one's hat into an evening party

"So close."

"Whoops! – Autopilot."

'I'm not breaking line. I'm the elevator repairman.'

'Didn't think I even wanted one. I blame it on my biological cuckoo clock.'

"Oh don't worry he's not rude, he said hello. Just check your messages."

"Mind if I smoke?"

"The best way to tell a woman's age is not to."

"You're not going to believe this, but you're pregnant."

Happy V-C Day