Social Norms Ponderer Pillows

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

What are YOU looking at!?!?

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"Sorry, these are saved."

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

"You mind if I smoke?"

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

"Hey man, there are certain things called unwritten laws."

Me at 22 vs. me at 29

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

'So unladylike!'

Nekkid Ladies