Social Networking Magician Gifts

#Hagtag

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'How fast can you hype?'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

If Disney was a software company

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

Pizza time.

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

"I don't want to take this meeting off track, but... isn't Stonehenge amazing? Seriously, who did that?"

Man in meeting has drawn all over paper, table and chairman, who says: 'I have no objection to doodling during meetings, but it must be within reason.'

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'Well, he sure as hell doesn't walk like a C.E.O.'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'