Social Media Savvy Sibling Gifts

Just between us...I only follow his tweets because he feeds me.

The cell phone soother for life.

Mac OS 20

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

Olympics create interest in curling.

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

Newborns on cell phones

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

To his dismay, Captain Kirk stumbles upon a Vulcan handsign-to-English translation website,

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Scraper Biking, Manhattan, Spring, '95

"The kids? They're great! Karen got retweeted by a famous YouTuber and Timmy just hit 16K Insta followers. They start influencing so quickly, don't they?"

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

Sick Exhibitionist

'The guy at the door wants to know if we've all been saved?'

"No arms deliveries!" "Arms deliveries!" "No arms deliveries!" "Arms deliveries!"

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

"Well they look pretty undocumented to me."

Biden Wins

'Oh no ! I've crashed.'

"Do not touch my screen! The moving finger smears, and having smeared moves on."

Scanning documents

Bad Parent Computers.

'I'm sending you a text. . .how did people talk before sms messaging?'

IT'S 10PM...DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR COMPUTER IS DOING?

"Still prickly, but smart. Styling gel makes the difference."

"I've brought you the worlds smallest phone, but here's the catch!"