Social Gatherings Lover T-Shirts

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

The prying mantis,

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The devil you know and his plus one

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

The Reaper's Arms

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

Glyndebourne

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Playing cards.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

When I said, "Let the good times roll," I didn't mean to let go of the keg.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Shall I be mother?

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"This is it, everybody. Jack and Harriet Schroeder sing Harold Arlem."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'