Social Activities T-Shirts

'No, Mr Robertson, there are no plans to introduce a sleep-over club. What you want is known as a boarding school.'

"The first rule of Musical Chairs Club is. . . you have to get out of your chairs!"

"Well here's another pub quiz. Which one was it,, and who were you with."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

The Family Joules: Part 16

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

The devil you know and his plus one

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

"Marco ..."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Glance Exchange

The prying mantis,

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The best PE teacher in the World.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"It's his emotional support animal."