School Activities T-Shirts

'Somehow, Jeffrey McCoy got hold of a medical alert bracelet that says 'requires daily cookie'.'

Let's stick to 'No room at the inn' and leave out 'Have you tried the internet?'

Debate Club Note

"But dear, I have to attend all the school meetings. Otherwise I get volunteered for committees."

The best PE teacher in the World.

'She's a gifted child.'

'I'm glad to hear that my son is the class clown.'

Kids can shoot a basket from 50 feet away, but can't hit a trash can two inches from their noses.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"You just march right back in there and keep marching around and around until he sees you're good enough to put back in the marching band."

'I'm sorry to disappoint you Rodney. Being elected class president does not mean you get your own corporate jet.'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'No wonder I'm failing Math. I'm just no good with numbers. Even when I called the math homework helpline, I got the wrong number.'

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

Boy uses a mask in detention so he can read a comic.

'It's an absence note for yesterday. I had to go to court. I'm being charged with inside trading of Webkinz cards.'

'So you're doing this just for fun right? Right?'

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

"Zach is in the gifted-and-talented-and-you're-not class."

'It's from the Security Council of the PTA!'

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

'I thought if I'm here everyday, Principal Harris, I might as well make some money!'

Shouting.

'I think I'm going to need a wide angled lens...'

'I nominated you for class mother elections and you won.'

"The principal's leaving early today, Phillip, so go to the office now, and you can act up later."

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

"It's really hard to make any plans. By the time we grow up there will be all new jobs that nobody's ever heard of!"

"How is Kayli going to be class president if she won't disclose the contents of her lunchbox? How much chocolate is she hiding?"

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

Norwich - 0 conker related deaths since March.

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

"That was very interesting, Aubrey, but this is Show & Tell, not Kiss & Tell time."

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

"Podge is stocking up ahead of the dinner ladies strike."