Soccer Virtuoso Pillows

Piper and football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

Kitchen Tetris

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Football

Ball as water-melon.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'I think I've scored.'

The Goalkeeper

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

Wilfried Zaha

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

A woman watches football on her computer.

Soccer coach of the year.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'