Soccer Superstar Fan Gifts

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Centaur Forward

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Egyptian Football

Watching the football.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Men can show their emotions!

Football

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.