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Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Egyptian Football

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Football

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'