Soccer Supporters T-Shirts

"He goes to a real party preschool."

'Good to see the Poles getting into the spirit of Euro 2012 and getting their faces painted.'

Philipp Lahm

'My feet are killing me.'

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Egyptian Football

Centaur Forward

World Cup Fever

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.