Soccer Fan Turned Actor Gifts

Theatre football.

Mohamed Salah

Egyptian Football

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

Are you aware...Professional soccer players who fake fouls with pretend injuries are eligible for a soccer oscar!

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Spot the fur ball.

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'

Stop with racism in sport!

"Jim was a model Dad".

Hands in same position from birth to death.

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'Sorry, but my dad would make a useless soccer coach: His only ball skil is 'fetch'...'

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

Ball and Chain

Despite Rainbow Flags: Football pro is afraid to come out!

George Best

'He has trouble keeping up with the game.'

Ryan Giggs

'Guys...Guys! I'm trying to sleep down here!'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

Beer Waitress

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

'Don't cry, Tel. England might be out of the European cup, but at least we've still got Poland.'

Red Card on the Podium

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

"Now think on - a good clean fight and no punching on the break."

Football fan

'The new technology allows us to monitor all the players performance levels like heart rate, acting ability, etc.'

'Must be that new 3D football.'

Deforestation of the Brazilian Rain Forest

"I swear, if he says, ‘Oh, American football’ even once, we’re gonna Brexit."