Soccer Coach Pillows

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Target practice board in the shape of a football referee.

'We scored eight goals last week.'

"Hey! Not fair!"

"I know it's just a game, sweetie, but our entire gender's political survival hinges on the outcome."

'Gabrielle! Grace! What did I tell you kids about player soccer in the nest!'

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Here comes the other team...that's their coach, strength train, game strategist and sports psychologist."

'You should have thought of that before kick-off - now run along and be quick about it!'

'Gosh, you seem to know a lot about soccer. I like that in a coach.'

"But I risk hurting the goalie's self-esteem if I score."

'Sorry, kids, but I had no choice. Your parents' constant interference was making it impossible for me to coach.'

'Go get a smaller ball!'

Mole saving a goal.

Football foul (red card).

Football referee who dropped all his cards.

'Water please. He's got mud on his advertising.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Your son can really fake an injury. I'm talking at scholarship level."

"Don't blame me, Ref, the boss told us the fans wanted more entertaining football."

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

Arc De Participation

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

Pele 1940-2022

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"We're not bothered-we have Mr.Blobby down our end!"

'Soccer Mom's Diner.'

'It's a present from the team, ref.'

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

'You're wanted in the crisis room, Mr President. The U.S. has won the World Soccer Championship!'

'Sorry, but my dad would make a useless soccer coach: His only ball skil is 'fetch'...'

Thought Police: 'Are you having mucky thoughts?'