Sober Contemplators Gifts

The End...

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Professional woman in pub

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Differing thoughts of male and female.

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

Wisdom for dummies

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

Computer with moon screensaver

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'What did we do before green tea?'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

The John Cage Carollers

If fifty is the new seventy, when is the new dead?

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'Contemplate this summons.'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Prayers For Agnostics

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

'You know there were 7,184 waves yesterday. That's just slightly more than usual. I think that's one of my favorite things about island life, there's always a surprise round the corner. What's your favorite thing, Ed?'

In Isolation

"Should we just write them off as a tragic mistake..?"

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List

"The glass is half full�"

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'