Soap Critic Pillows

Children Who Have Given Up Soap For Lent

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"Amateurs."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Non Thought For The Day.

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"On yesterday's news, we left Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper in the Midwest, preparing to go their separate ways after their bus trip. Meanwhile, their nemesis, George, upset by the latest popularity polls, was consulting with his friend James about h

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.