Snowy Escapade Enthusiast Pillows

'Don't be a hero, Dewey! It's a snowboarder - and he's huge! Let's get out of here!!'

"Oh, I'm so sorry! My mother always said that skiing was not a thing for a Jewish person."

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"This is the best day ever!" "This is the worst day ever!"

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

"Of course I gained weight...it snowed last night."

Festive squad

Man throws snowball for dog, and dog returns stuck in giant snowball.

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Angels making snow humans

Staying Warm.

"It's a snowman, dear. Assembly required."

'I guess we should have expected a seasonal slump.'

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"I modeled this one after me. He hates vegetables, too..."

Boy accidentally hits a man with a snowball

"Please, God, help me get up, that's all I ask... I'll go right to church..."

Phone Mittens

"I'm a guy. The darn kids just thought this was funny."

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

Zimmer Frame in Winter

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

Recycled Flake

Music shop's sign: We have 'Sleigh Bells'. Weather Bureau's sign: You're gonna need them.

"...and ski conditions will be excellent on city streets today."

'Excuse me, are you abominable?'

Toboggan Hitchhiker

"The National Weather Service is warning these areas to brace for what could be a crippling amount of Instagrammed snow photos."

Barbecue in the snow.

Skiing

Turtle Sledge

"Daddy, is it true that snowmen fart snowflakes?"