Snoring Gifts

'My husband must be floating on his back - I can hear him snoring!'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"You were snoring."

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"Now do you believe me that your snoring wakes up the whole neighborhood?"

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Police arresting woman. Man slumped lifeless in background - 'But he was snoring officer!'

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

"Yes, you were snoring again."

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

'You're snoring in cadence.'

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

Zzzzzzzzz...

Man says: 'Are you implying that I have a snoring problem?'

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

'Actually, the tent is for my wife and the couch is for me when I start snoring.'

'There was a petition to kick me out of the colony at night because I snore...'

Woman reading a article titled 'Dead men don't snore',

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

"You were oinking in your sleep last night."

Solving the Snoring Problem

"Here's the plan. I use white noise to cover your snoring and you use earplugs to cover the white noise."

"If we can't wake Snow White, we should at least get her a CPAP machine."

'Honey you're roaring.'

'You snored all night, so now I have to kill you.'

"Yeah, my daddy snores too, but what is worse is that our cave has an echo..."