Snore Maestro Gifts

"He's dyslexic."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

Music producers.

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'I think he is a composer.'

Happy Halloween!

Eventual Motion Machine

'You should enter the rhythmic breathing Olympics!'

'I always forget whether I'm flying a 747 or playing an organ.'

'And to mark your 50 years oversleeping...'

A man conducting a bird in a tree.

Montserrat Caballé

'He uses rim shots instead of banging on his gavel.'

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"But this way I know where everything is."

"I know I'm not using all the chair but I don't do sub-leases!"

"I had to get the glass in my front window replaced. I've never known anyone with a more powerful sneeze than my dad!"

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

Choir Games

"People...People who need people...."

"Love the melody. . . but the lyrics need work!"

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'