Snore Maestro Gifts

"He's dyslexic."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Music producers.

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'I think he is a composer.'

Happy Halloween!

Eventual Motion Machine

'You should enter the rhythmic breathing Olympics!'

'I always forget whether I'm flying a 747 or playing an organ.'

'And to mark your 50 years oversleeping...'

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

A man conducting a bird in a tree.

'He uses rim shots instead of banging on his gavel.'

Martha Stewart at Home.

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"But this way I know where everything is."

Montserrat Caballé

"I know I'm not using all the chair but I don't do sub-leases!"

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

Choir Games

"People...People who need people...."

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

Guitars