Snob Observer T-Shirts

"To me, the Hudson is much more than a river - it's a moat."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

'I wouldn't worry about going before your time. You're too old to die young.'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"Don't touch that Jake! It's bad for you!"

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"Since Rover became a therapy dog, he's gotten uppity."

"With all due respect, I prefer the term 'con artisan'."

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'He's a mixed breed.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"Nature has a twisted sense of humor."

"I've taken a vow of chastity with guys living in poverty."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"He drinks from the cup of a different brewer."